CONFESSIONS OF A MID-TWENTIES MIND

It is not easy to open up for me. I find that holding things in is easier than actually communicating with people and telling them how I feel. I have heard in a lot of my communication classes, which ironically is my problem and also what I am majoring in, that opening up and communicating is the key to living a happy and healthy life. It's bad for the body, mind, and spirit to keep emotions and thoughts in because eventually, whether you want them to or not, they will come out and most likely not in a positive way. Since this theory is both proven and true, I am forcing myself today to come out with what may be the most difficult and most terrifying confession of my close to 27 years here on earth. I want to thank you in advance for being conscious of my feelings and allowing me this stage to present these emotionally stressful items of shame as to not lose myself to the unconscious emotional outbursts that would inevitably follow.

That shocking confession is that I am a Harry Potter fan. Not just fan mind you, but one of the obnoxious hoards that flock to Barnes and Noble at midnight to purchase a book that portrays a young, fictitious boy as a wizard with a harsh beginning to his tortured life. I am one of those who buys their movie tickets months in advance and then stresses out weeks prior to the opening of the movie as to whether or not they will double book the seat or, heaven forbid, there will indeed be a freak monsoon that demolishes the theatre killing hundreds and royaly screwing up my Harry Potter plans. I luckily am not one who dresses up as a character from the beloved series. Nor do I attempt to dissect what each character represents in society, make people call me by one of the characters names, or practice spells during my daily routine (except for when I walk in front of an automatic door say at the grocery store and recite, a hardly audible, "alohamora".....how else will the door open if I don't through the spell at it for pete's sake?).

(This is a picture of the Harry Potter cow by the way. Fly bessy.......Fly!!!)

I wasn't always like this. I once thought the whole concept of Hogwarts was a waste of time that was meant for kids, young adults, and possibly the mal-adjusted adult that wears a sweater in the middle of summer and still listens to his Sony Walkman with the headphones shinning with the metal wire strapped across his head. But it was not until soon, after the second movie came out and I was forced, at gun point by my own mother, to read the books did I fully understand and appreciate the remarkable phenomenon, yes, phenomenon, that is the world of Harry Potter.

The reason I am telling you this now, only hours before the final instalment of Potter is to hit the hands of all of the anticipating Potterians (a word I claim as my own) in long lines all over the world is because last night was the first time I realized just how deep into this I had fallen. It was like any other Thursday and we were enjoying the company of my sister and her family when she had the brilliant idea to make Butterbeer and Pumpkin Pasties for a snack. If you don't know what these are than you are dead to me. She found the recipes and she brewed a potion so aromatic that it brought forth the wizard in each one of us. We hit the plateau of Harry Potterness. We ate what wizards eat. We walked where wizards walk. We spent a few magical moments combining our worlds to theirs through the savory taste of treats from a different land. Alright, i admit, over the top. I get it. But I know now, not through being ashamed or embarrassed by this situation, but by my now outward obsession that I am one of the few who truly love this series of books and movies. One who will defend it to the death. One who will if necessary, kill who ever speaks out against the imaginative world of underage wizards and their ridiculously dangerous lives.

Thank you for listening. I know that the situation may be unhealthy but so is storing these demons inside. Live on Harry Potter, as you live on in my imagination.......I do hope he dies at the end though. That would be cool.